Sunday, April 12, 2009


This is a post from my old xanga that I thought I'd repost in part today. I wrote it during Spring break of my Junior year while visiting Emily in Paris. Below is the painting the post is about. For reference, the painting depicts John 20:1-9.

Although it sounds like I've just been goofing around for most of this trip, it's also been very "spiritual" (or whatever you wanna call it). This being Europe and all, we've managed to hit up several of the major Cathedrals and museums. It's been cool to see how each one teaches me a little something more about the gospel. I could probably write a really long entry about each of them, but that would probably be excessive (if you wanna know about the other places ask me). Instead I'll just tell you about my most recent moment at the Musee d'Orsay. There are a ton of famous impressionist works there, but I was struck by a random painting some where in the middle of an exhibit on the second floor. I can't remember who painted it or what the French title was, even though I went back to look just so I'd remember for this entry. Anyway it was a painting by some guy whose name starts with a B, of Peter and John as they were running to the tomb to see if Jesus was really gone. It was an amazing and yet simple picture. It was close, just of their upper bodies. I think what made me cry when I looked at them were their expressions. They looked excited, hurried, worried, and relieved at the same time. I was left imagining what it might have been like for the disciples to hear that Jesus was not in the tomb. Their fear that some one had stolen His body. The thrill of the thought that their best friend was really coming back to them. Jesus promised to return, but the disciples were not always the quickest of fellows. I wonder if when they finally figured it out, all of their memories of Jesus saying odd things about coming back on the third day came flooding back and clicked into place. Christ had conquered death, but even more, their best friend was back. How often do I run to Jesus with that same enthusiasm? Does my relationship with Him reflect that same amount of passion, fear, love, and expectancy? I have a God who died for me, how amazing is that? And in addition to that, He wants a relationship; He knows me and wants me to know Him in the same way. I want to run to him like Peter and John did.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Good Friday

Yesterday was a good Friday. The Good Friday service at church opened with the worship team playing Sufjan's Abraham.

Abraham, worth a righteous one
Take up on the wood
Put it on your son
Lake or lamb
There is none to harm
When the angel came
You had raised your arm

Abraham, put off on your son
Take instead the ram
Until Jesus comes

I love this song. I love this story. I love God's foreshadowing.

It's hard to internalize the significance of Christ's death, to reconcile God's justice and His grace. In some ways Abraham's story is more relatable. It's easier to look at the story and understand how hard it would be for a father to kill his son when his son did not deserve it. While Christ's death is certainly a horrific image, Abraham's story sheds light on looking at it through the lens of Jesus and God's relationship.

I think that some times I forget about Jesus' humanity, that just before His arrest He prayed for an out and appealed to God calling Him Abba, Father. I think about salvation and the crucifixion in a sort of removed way that allows me to discount the sacrifice and suffering involved. I ignore the pain that Jesus and God must have suffered when they were separated because it's easier on my pride. Some how it makes me feel like I need God less, a total lie. I realize that in doing this I'm missing out on understanding how much God loves me. I'm grateful for the moments when I wake up from those lies. Right now I feel loved.